Riot Girl...

She's got tattoos and piercings, she likes Minor Threat, she like Social Distortion... My girl's a hot girl... A hood rat who needs an attitude adjustment... Christina, wouldn't wanna meet her... She hates you Britney so you better run for cover... My girl's a hot girl, a riot girl and she's angry at the world... Emergency, call 9-1-1... she's pissed off at everyone... Police rescue, F-B-I... She wants a riot, she wants a riot...

Ok so yesterday's post was a DOWNER... sorry about that... it was a very long and exhausting week. And yea, I know I do it to myself... but whatever. My blog, my attitude. Today I'm feeling 100% better than I did yesterday. I'm still suffering from the WORST allergies ever, but today they're tolerable. My nose is that ugly dry, scratchy, it looks like I have boogers in there but it's just pieces of my skin, disgusting red and it hurts like hell, but again, it's tolerable. I had a good day so far.

I had dance all day today. I find that my emotions either go one way or the other on dance days. With the munchkins it's different because I don't yell at them. I don't need to be responsible for their therapy at such an early age. But the big kids... well I either laugh my ass off or want to break down and cry depending on what kind of day I'm having and what kind of day they're having. Today was a good day. I didn't yell. The weather was beautiful. Had a good time with the kids. In addition to all the dance classes I teach, I was hired by an Indian mother to teach her sons a routine to perform at an engagement party. Today was my last day with them and it finally felt like they were comfortable with me. Go figure.

I can't possibly imagine what these two boys thought of me. I have tattoos and piercings and here they are two little Indian boys with a strict mom stuck in a dance studio with ME. I'm crazy and I'm trying to teach them how to hip hop dance. Most of the time they spent our rehearsal time looking at me like I was nuts. But today was different. And I had a really good time with them. I might even go as far as saying I'm kinda gonna miss teaching them. It probably would have been totally comical for outsiders to witness our sessions. Crazy white chick teaching hip hop with two little Indian boys. AND the Indian mother barking orders at them to dance with some soul. Priceless.

The fact of the matter is that I need to stop letting myself dwell on shit I can't control. I am such a control freak that I really come down extremely hard on myself. Today was a day where I let shit roll off of my back. And the truth is that I haven't let that happen in a very long time. Working with kids definitely lightens up my mood the majority of the time. But when the control freak in me comes out it's really hard to tolerate. I want everything to be PERFECT... which we all know is totally unattainable. Every single one of us is different... so, putting ten kids together in a class, teaching them the same routine... I need to understand that it's impossible for the outcome to be perfect. And for some strange reason, today, I understood it. Maybe for the first time in the 9 years that I've been teaching. I'm hoping this attitude sticks around. Who the hell knows...

I'm a riot girl... I've embraced my flaws today. I allow myself to get upset and that is why I do NOT want a shrink or meds to change me. I know I'm out of my mind... but I'm working on toning it down. Most days I like me. I like what I'm about. I like what I stand for. And I like that I don't take shit from people, but I'm still respectful. Yesterday afternoon was a downer, but downers are a part of life and I'm ok with it. I'm not going to delete yesterday's post... it's a reminder that I'm alive and that I feel things. Most importantly, it's there to remind me that not everyday is like that... and that makes me feel good. My days are getting better and the dark days seem to be happening less and less. And I'm grateful for that.

Hope everyone is enjoying the first day of spring...

Thanks for reading...