Desiderata...

Today was an emotional roller coaster. As we all know by now, I don't do well with those. I was up and down with emotions. More up than down... but still. The down is always like the shittiest down. I may have a tendency to over do it in the emotions department... but that's how I roll. I'm exhausted 98.5% of the time and I just let shit get to me because I have no energy to deal with my issues properly. But whatever, that's besides the point. This is who I am. I've accepted it and I keep pushing forward.

I decided in lieu of the 29th birthday coming up in just a few days that I was going to get a much needed manicure. My hands have been like sand paper this whole entire winter and they deserved a little relaxation time. Instead of going to my usual nail place, I went to the one that is down the block from my apartment building. The reason why I don't go there ever is because they take forever. I usually don't have time to sit for an hour just for a manicure. But since I was in a mood when I got home, I really didn't feel like getting back in my car and going to my fancy nails place.

I get there and the lady gives me grief about how I haven't been there in a year. The owner and the other lady proceed to speak in native tongues while I watch the weather channel. They try to convince me to get a pedicure. I refuse because its like 30 degrees and I like my alien like toes and don't want them to fall off. They return to speaking in native tongues, I return to watching the winter storm advisory on repeat for the next 5 minutes. All of a sudden the lady doing my nails suggests a 10 minute massage. I refuse because I don't like people touching me. Especially in a nail salon. She tells me "you really look likea you needa massagie." No no that's ok (with a smile on my face, of course). Not 5 seconds later she's telling me that my eyebrows need waxing. I tell her that they don't and she looks at me like I have 9 heads. I am allergic to wax so I refuse as nicely as possible. AND my eyebrows were threaded 2 weeks ago. I know they're fine. I may be a hairy Italian, but I know when my shit is out of hand. Resume watching the weather.

45 minutes later my nails are finally done. I take my seat at the drier and realize that someone is massaging my back but I'm way too tense for that. She keeps going, but I know she doesn't have a shot in hell with relaxing me. She stops and I chill out in the chair. I know I have at least 10 minutes before my nails are dry and I am NOT leaving until they are. Who knows when the next manicure will be... I look out the window watching neighbors walk by. No one really interesting. And then, right there in a frame on the wall is "Desiderata". And since my hands are pretty much stuck in the flat under the drier position, I read it. I was blown away. You know when you reach that really rare moment when you realize everything happens for a reason? That was my moment. And so I wanted to share with you. If you've read it before, it can't hurt reading it again. And if you haven't read it, well then I hope it makes things a little clearer for you like it did for me...

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Holy crap! It was like one poem summed up life in its entirety. I know I gotta lighten up. And if I have to read this everyday in order for that to happen, I will. I hope it brightened your day a little bit. I know it brightened mine.

Thanks for reading...

P.S. the nails look pretty fabulous...