Let the Flames Begin...

What a shame we all became such fragile, broken things... A memory remains just a tiny spark.... I give it all my oxygen to let the flames begin... to let the flames begin.... Oh, glory.... This is how we'll dance when they try to take us down... This is what will be oh, glory... Somewhere weakness is our strength... And I'll die searching for it... I can't let myself regret such selfishness... My pain and all the trouble caused no matter how long I believe that there's hope... Buried beneath it all and hiding beneath it all and growing beneath it all and... This is how we'll dance when they try to take us down... This is how we'll sing it.... This is how we'll stand when they burn our houses down... This is what will be oh, glory...

I deleted most of my posts. I don't want to read them anymore. I don't care who I was or what I was feeling when I wrote them. I don't care anymore. That me... she's gone. I found a whole new me today way deep down in this shell that I've become. I'm hurt. I've been slapped in the face, stabbed in the back, insulted and now I'm disgusted.

The old me, she's long gone. She was destroyed by the hurtful words and actions of people who she thought gave a flying rats ass about her. It turns out, they all just lied straight to her face. So the old me, she's done. She is never coming back.

See, these people, they say that I can't handle being insulted. Um, hi. Who likes being insulted? Yea, that's what I thought. No one takes being insulted gracefully. But apparently, I fly off the handle. Why? Because I care? Because things hurt me? Hurtful words shouldn't hurt me?! I don't understand. See the thing is, that these people have never seen me fly off the handle. They have no idea what me flying off the handle entails. And I'll never give them the satisfaction of seeing such a theatrical event.

I am so hurt. I can't even begin to explain how hurt I am. And I'm livid beyond belief. I've been called a lot of things... homewrecker, cheater, bitch, whore, moron, idiot, asshole, brat, ingrate... you name it, I've been called it at one point or another. And it's always by people who I care about. So I'm done. Apparently, me having feelings is an issue so I'm going to be stone cold from now on. And this is no joke. Because today... I was called a "co-conspirator" of a plan that never existed.

Co-conspirator?! There was no plan. And I'm hurt that my authorities would think that I would do something like that. And it was told to one of my co-workers because I, apparently, fly off the handle. Fuck you. You haven't even begun to see what I can do.

So I'm done. I don't care about them. I won't care about anything anymore because when I care, I get hurt. No one else gets hurt. I get hurt. And I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of being the one who takes all the nonsense but never gives anyone dishes it out. That me is gone. She's gone.

I will not speak to one of those liars tomorrow. I won't look at them in their lying faces because they don't deserve my attention. Everyone is a backstabber. I'm surrounded by liars and backstabbers that have the audacity to make me out to be the bad guy.

So, nice girls finish last. Not anymore. I hope they realized what they've done... because the old me is gone... and tomorrow is going to be a glorious day for them. I have officially let the flames begin...